Hazelton! The Musical!

👤Charlynn Toews 🕔May 30, 2013

ACT ONE

Scene 1—Highway 16 junction, New Hazelton, a fine May morning

“PROLOGUE (Visitor Info Centre Waltz)” 
— Company

Oh, it’s so lovely in New Town,

And it’s as lovely in Old Town, oh!

And you’re always two miles from Two Mile

From whichever which way you go.

You can drive right round to South Town

Or go up to Hagwilget.

Don’t fall off the one-way bridge, though—

That’s a sure-enough way to get wet.

For a bright purple burst of Fireweed,

Go past Wrinch and the RBC;

Stop for food ’n’ fuel at the Gee-maax—

They’ve got tax-free smokes and gas with ID.

Take a hard right to get to Glen Vowell

Keep goin’ to get to the rodeo.

You’ll want to go fishin’ for steelhead

On the Kispiox, past Sik-e-dakh, don’t you know.

Oh, it’s so lovely in New Town,

And it’s as lovely in Old Town, oh!

And you’re always two miles from Two Mile

From whichever which way you go.

And then just when you think you’ve seen the best

You can camp on the beach at Ksan;

Camp on the beach at the longhouse museum

And walk to Old Town for a meal, yes you can!

Yes you can camp then walk for a meal:

Out on the land then out on the town and it is REAL!

Oh, it’s so lovely in New Town,

And it’s as lovely in Old Town, oh!

And you’re always two miles from Two Mile

From whichever which way you go.

Scene 2—Greyhound bus depot, a few minutes later

“THE WANG IS NOT THE VILLAGE IT’S THE VALLEY” — Mitch, Sam and Auntie

“YOW-TOWN IS COOLER THAN KITWANCOOL (NO IT’S NOT)” — Barry and Olive

“MEET MY PAL MORRIS HE’S FROM MORICETOWN” — Francis, Lawrence and Johnnie

“WHEN THE SNOW MELTS ON THE MOUNTAIN” — Taylor, Norm, Mark, Phil, Bill, Charlie and Frank

“THE LAST TIME I SAW TERRACE “ — Dave M, Dave P, Dave S—all Daves

“GITSEGUKLA!” — Arthur, Joseph, Mathew and Company

We know we belong to the land

And the land we belong to is grand!

And when we say Yeeow! Aye-yip-aye-yo-ee-ya!

We’re only sayin’ you’re doin’ fine, Gitsegukla!

Gitsegukla’s OK!

Scene 3 —Old Town at the Village Office corner, early evening

“I TAUGHT CAROL HOW TO WRESTLE (I SOLD BOB ERB THAT TICKET)” — Joe, Dean and Alice

“HOW I LONG TO GO TUBING IN THE SUMMER” — Carrie, Jude, Jama and the Gang of Girls

“WE REMEMBER THE ROBBERY” — Ward, Briggita and Granny

“THE NEIGHBOURS WILL SAY WE’RE IN LOVE” — Carrie and Mitch

Carrie: Don’t give smoked fish to me, don’t please my folks too much;

Don’t laugh at my jokes too much, the neighbours will say we’re in love!

Mitch: Some people claim that you are to blame as much as I.

Why do you take the trouble to microwave my favourite pie?

Don’t praise my fish too much, don’t look so happy with me

Don’t dance all night with me, till the stars fade from above

They’ll see it’s alright with me….

Both:  The neighbours will say we’re in love!

ACT TWO

Scene 1 —The Arena, late that night

“A REAL NICE FISHIN’ HOLE” — Mitch, Barry, Sam and Young Men

“IT WAS DARK, IT WAS LOUD, THERE WAS DRAMA” — Mitch and Company

Scene 2 —on the Kispiox River, just before dawn

“BALLET” — Barry, Olive, Gang of Girls, Young Men

“THE NEIGHBOURS WILL SAY WE’RE IN LOVE (Reprise)” — Carrie and Mitch

“VISITOR INFO CENTRE WALTZ (Encore)” — Carrie, Mitch, Barry, Olive and Company

“...you’re always two miles from Two Mile

From whichever which way you go!”



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